well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
