Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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