im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
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I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
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I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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