what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I can't put those talents on a resume
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize
