Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
where am i from again
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
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Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
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I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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