does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
