is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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