He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
