I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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