If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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