I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
so let's talk penis.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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