so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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