ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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