What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
