how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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