Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
