I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
