literally had 100 drinks last night.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
