If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize