If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
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The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
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I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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