I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
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The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
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But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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