you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
