I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
