i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
