There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
