What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
