Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
