She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
