If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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