All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
