I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
