we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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