You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
she looked like the before picture.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
OPIZZABONMYDICK
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
