If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
