dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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