that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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