just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
