Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
