brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize