I'm sorry my penis didn't work
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
