we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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