I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Randomize
