yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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