that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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