I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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