have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
