and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize