we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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