you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
