It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize