I just made out with a guy for $7.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
