I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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