Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
