the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
